librawolf @ dudesnude
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49 y/o   VERIFIED §
 United States : California : Los Angeles / mobile
profile id: 1281638
build: Defined
height: 1.80m (5' 11")
weight: 69Kg (153lb)
links:
private password:
waist: 79cm (31")
body hair: Quite hairy
facial hair: Beard
ethnicity: Caucasian
cock size: Large
tattoos: Several
preferred role: Vers. Top
interests: Email/chat.
last here: 27 May 2018
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Back in 2004, (the first year I joined this site... that's kind of trippy), I remember attending this one night 'gay dating workshop' here in LA with a friend of mine.
I remember, the guy teaching the workshop saying, at one point, ..."gentlemen... start trying to date outside your type! You guys go into a bar... there's 50 (or more) guys there. Within one minute, you all hone in one the one guy who's your type. You all do it. Well ... guess what??! You just honed in on the one guy who's going to hurt you."

There were a few hems ands haws from the attending crowd. Some chuckles ... laughs. I remember sitting there... kinda thinking ... hmmm' ... only because my love life (at the time ... and certainly similar to now) sucked... with the big difference being now... is about 14 more years accumulated bummer experiences with men... and anything from experiencing real love and the genuine connection I've wanted with someone. Definitely a far-cry scenario from what i had hoped and envisioned my life to be ... in relation to love and men.

How many times I've been attracted to this 'salt-of-the-earth' looking guy... this lumber-jack-esq, gentleman-ly looking guy... and, on the surface, they certainly appeared like they'd be warm and fuzzy, kind guys (and....let's face it and be honest... it's a tuff thing because we - ALL THE TIME - make attachments based on someone's outer appearance/looks ... combined with the fact that gay men are the masters of presentation)... only to find out ... well ... they were usually anything but a gentleman.

They weren't kind.
They weren't warm.
Fuck... sometimes... they weren't all that smart.

Often ... they were really selfish. (having NO idea of the concept for concession... the whole 'give and take' thing... which I believe to be a foundation for any relationship.)
And 'yeah' ... sometimes ... they did, indeed, cause some downright pain.

Point is... my 'type' has never really 'housed' the man I've been hoping to find and think I deserve.
Clearly... something to be learned from that little dating workshop back in 2004, but... more importantly... if any of you have read Alan Downs' 'The Velvet Rage' (it's a must-read and has become like a 'gay bible' to me over the last 10 plus years), in it, he talks about joy. He speaks about the importance of realizing, in your life, what brings you joy, as well as well as... once you become aware of that... it changes how you choose WHO you choose/look for in a partner.

He says, "love is the experience of joy in that person's presence."

I can tell you that 97% of my male friends are straight. This wasn't like an active decision or something I sought out. I think it came from a place of my heart and soul ... what I simply evolved to needing and start feeling. With my straight guy friends... I feel a great deal of warmth from them. And they make me laugh. It's easy. It's honest. I can completely be myself with them and feel seen and respected. That isn't always the case with a lot of fellow gay men, I've found. But... point is ... once I started becoming mindful of these feelings... I realized...'wait... this is how I should feel, certainly, with a boyfriend." and so ,,, that's when it all clicked... regarding Downs' point on love. It also changed, for me, my approach to who and what I may look for.

You may be wondering... 'why the fuck is he writing about this stuff on dudesnude?'

Well ... like the saying goes... 'a picture's worth a thousand words', and so, I think the pictures I post live up to the 'eye candy' component of what the site's about. Certainly no one has to read anything of my 'stuff' or scroll any further down past the pics.

But ... sex is easy. And being seen/experienced...on a solely sexual level ... is easy.

It just isn't good enough for me anymore.

I'll be turning 50 this year, and I came out when I was 23.
I'm much more interested in a man seeing and getting a sense of ALL aspects of me ...(at least trying to) ... and so I don't see the need to compartmentalize myself, these days, ... be it on a sex site or in the grocery store.
In 'The Velvet Rage', Alan Downs describes integrity as 'integrate all parts of oneself'.
It's a Buddhist thought to say, 'how you do anything ... is how you do everything''.

Point is .. I think I shoot myself in the foot to, at this stage of the game, only show one (very slim aspect of myself) especially when my heart's desire is to ultimately find love.
Is that love gonna come from Dudesnude?

Fuck ... I don't know.

But... because I do believe 'he' could be anywhere... at anytime ... - putting myself out there, the best I can as the whole, genuine, authentic me is the only thing that makes sense and feels right.

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The Sex Stuff:

well ... now back to the dudesnude / sex portion of my profile. This is not out of any feeling of obligation to write this, but more, again, for that intrinsic part of me that likes to express myself and be understood.

Where I know I'm inherently different than a lot of fellow gay men ... anal sex has just - on a physical/sexual level - never been that big of a deal to me. It's something I don't need to have, and certainly something I don't get off on, physically, all that much.
I realize there are guys out there where their 'hole' is their ...well... everything, ya know ... and they could slide down on a baseball bat at a moment's notice. Whatever floats your boat... s'all good.

Other guys ... ya know ... they can't seem to live without their 'total top' status.
(I mean ... I, myself, cringe when the Dr. has to stick his finger up me for a prostate exam.)
Again ... if no one's getting hurt... do what you need.

Sexually, I'm very cock-centric, as well as ... for me, I find the most awesome and sensual thing about gay sex is (as I like to term it) the celebration of each others' maleness. For me, a hot mutual suck and stroke session, 69, swapping bjs, JO... really getting into each others' cocks, with tons of making out and body contact and tight embracing ... that's what - on a pure physical, sexual basis, does it for me ... what floats my boat.

Thus ... when someone is super concerned with (whether in regards to themselves or me ) being hinged to their sexual proclivity (a fancy way of saying their 'top'/'bottom' role), I'm just automatically bored.

THAT BEING SAID, in regards to anal sex... if and when there's to be an awesome and amazing emotional connection involving (dare I say it) love, THEN ... my headspace goes to a place of, 'oh my god, I can't get close enough to you!!!!'... and so anal sex not only becomes something I want to do , BUT... it becomes something amazing... and way beyond the physical/sexual. And, of course, then... the role of 'top'/'bottom' goes out the window.

Conversely, in those times when hardcore bottoms have wanted me to fuck them, (in the context of a hook up... with no real genuine emotional connection to speak of) ...within minutes of me caving and doing so... I get bored. I basically feel like a prop. I'm thinking of bills I gotta pay. My grocery list ... all the while ... while looking at the vacant look in their eyes.

It sucks.

Again ... this is just me and my wiring. There's no judgment, whatsoever on any and everyone else. I just say this here now so it can save me any further typing on the topic if and when it comes up.

I'm a man of very few... to really no fetishes, at all ... but guys... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD... LEAVE YOUR PUBES ALONE!! Nothing turns me on more than a full bush on a guy!! ... and, conversely, nothing is more of a boner-killer, for me, than shaved and even trimmed pubes.

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Lastly... 'yes' ... I've been told I look like Wolverine.

It, really, wasn't something calculated or planned. I've always had somewhat of a beard. I grew it out, coiffed it a bit... grew my hair out a bit, and voila!
The comments started rolling in, and I figured... 'ok ... I can live with this.'


Aside from that,
Samson, my black cat, is my best friend.
I love really good cake!! .. and I have an annual pass to Disneyland.

*****An interesting Dudesnude phenomenon: am I the only member here... who - rarely to never - receives messages from... even gets profile views from... fellow guys in their own city??? BUT - conversely...gets the most awesome and amazing messages from guys outside of the state and in other countries.
It's always been that way... and I've always wondered why. I suspect there's like a 'safety factor' to it... Like someone 2 miles away from you... God forbid they could, potentially, make a real-life connection with you.

Peace and good vibes to you all!
We all deserve good things.
And we all should be good to each other. I don't think it's good enough to be all "#weareorlando", slap a rainbow overlay on a social media picture, and be all, 'let's march together at a protest!'... if the other 300 plus days of the year... we subtly dis each other in the most day-to-day of ways (be it on a phone app... choosing to look away VS returning a smile at the gym, grocery store ...or wherever, however. And blowing off responding to a simple kind message here. (It always beyond kills me ... those profiles where you see ... "sorry I can't respond to every message")... yeah.. but, of course, they had enough time to create a profile, slap their pictures up here... because they still had their need to get virtually jerked off for their self-absorbtion fest. ( you can bet their Instagram feeds are just as borderline narcissistic.) But then they want to be selective as to who they' return the love'... simply because they're 'too busy'.

I, myself, do, indeed make every effort to respond to as many messages as possible!... sometimes it'll take me a little time, but I do got there!